When i was in high school,my morld seemed to revolve around my self-confidence crisis,my friends and the guys after them.My mom had several stories to tell about the women in the church and in the neighbourhood ,about their lives ,what was their current obsesson ,who was acting as if she were a queen and who wasn't talking to who.
Then i reached college.Now, everyday i have a prayer of thanks to God(I would like to believe that he exists) for giving me an opportunity to see a world beyond mine.There are more people out there ,with different cultures,backgrounds and ideals;speaking diffrent languages ,marked by different colours and working with different mindsets.There is so much out there that we haven't experienced and i'l always will be filled with gratitude for that knowledge.
Life is short .How many times have we heard this and actually understood what it meant?Life is SHORT.A couple or more years and the poof!You're gone .Wiped off from the face of the earth; someone else taking your space.Does that make you feel like doing something extra-ordinary?For me?I don't know. I don't have that drive now.Though it does scare me.
But what makes me wonder more is why I back down whenever there's seems to be an opportunity to grow,to learn.It shouldn't matter what others think or not think,what others see or not see.I have one chance to fill my life with adventures,with friends,with love-anything i want to.Best part and the scary part about this is -its my call ;whether i want to get into a fight with a friend and spoil the whole relationship or so somewhere alone or just stop studying or study to my heart's content etc etc.In the end ,you do whatever makes you happy.
This journey is MINE,mine alone.
When these thoughts visit me ,once in a while , it feels like a a breath of fresh air , life a beautiful sunny mornign,like there's hope-for happiness,contentment.
The decisions I make matter.This independence is a powerful tool.They'll define me and take me where i have eventually end up.
The people i know may or may not be a part of me future.Yet the need for pretense at times is still strong.Why do mundane things in life make us forget the bigger truth?-that these things don't even matter.Yet these are the things that fill our lives ,sometimes barely enough to avoid depression and sometimes to the brim,that it chokes us .