I want to write a post and all i can seem to do is cry out in frustration!.I think about going to college tonorrow and the thought doesn't bring me any excitement now.
I accuse my mom of comparing ,but its actually me who keeps doing that every minute if the day!I'm never satisfied,am i?Yet I'm the one who judges others if they are better or worse off than me.I disappoint myself.
I wrinkle my nose and shake my head in disapproval when someone else does it.That makes me a hypocrite now,doesn't it?:|
Whenever i look at myself im never happy with what i have and what i don't have.Am i being too critical o fjust ungrateful? Yet at times ,I am one of those people who look down on others.It's a thought that stays for only a split second,but it leaves a bad taste when its gone.
I worry about what I have to answer to people even when i know that what's happening is something so minor,yet blown out of proportions.I have a choice.I always have a choice.But I tend to forget that everytime and give into the daily trends wherever it might be,at home,at college ,at hostel ,anywhere.I do what everybody does.Yet i claim to be different,think differently.Does anyone have any clue what I'm talking about?
I'm weak.I have this hazy view of myself.I'm frustrated,comfused as ever.Why does everyone look as if they have everything sorted.I know that's not the case.But still ,they seem to go through each day as if they know exactly what they're doing.Maybe not as planned ,but prepared anyway.
Im scared to make decisions .I mean,Its simple .It can be either this or that.But for me,if i choose Way 1,i start wondering about what could have been had I chosen Way 2.Its the fear of being wrong that doesn't let me grow, the fear of making mistakes that doesn't let me learn and adapt, the failure to do something about ignorance because of laziness is what that makes me weak.
Life can be exciting of i will it to be.But it's sad that I can't seem to control my head.It's really sad.
I'm a hypocrite
How about you?
Do you ever get so disgusted with yourself
that you sort of just want to shake your head
and laugh at how pathetically fake you are?
Do you ever feel sick at how often
you become everything you say you hate?
how often you're the opposite
of everything you want to be?
I'm a liar
How about you?
Does it ever occur to you
that everything you say about yourself is
just a makeshift disguise?
Do you ever wonder
If all your words are just that -
Words, and nothing more?
Does it ever frighten you
How easy it is to pretend?
I'm a coward
How about you?
Have you ever been so scared
that you find yourself making all the betrayals
you promised yourself you never would?
Has it ever hit you between the eyes
that most of your glowing ideals are
a hell of a lot easier said than done?
and that you're brave enough to say all these things
but not enough to live them?
Have you ever loved someone
and not told them
because you were afraid
no one else would understand?
I'm shallow
How about you?
[This is the worst.]
Have you ever congratulated yourself
on your depth of thought
and your understanding of things
Only to find you've forgotten
the starving and the orphans,
the persecuted and the enslaved,
because you were crying over how ugly you felt?
Have you ever talked about how
"What's on the inside counts"
All the while knowing you'd much rather be seen
[and see yourself, in fact]
with the people who dress right, act right, smell right?
Have you, have you?
Have you ever been like me?
Have you ever left a better man
for a better looking one?
Have you ever left a good person
for a popular one?
Have you ever left a powerful relationship for an easy one?
Yes, we can say a lot of things,
but doing them, that's another matter entirely
Sometimes I wonder,
Does it even matter what we say?
Is it really all just empty words?
Oh friends
Can't we all just stand and confess
We're not the heroes and saints
we'd like to believe we are?
If we're going to be liars
Can't we at least be honest liars?
I am a hypocrite, a liar, a coward and all the rest . . .
How about you?
P.S i didn't write this.But whoever did,thanks :)
